The Tymnal

http://tymnal.blogspot.com/

The Tymnal is a collection of Hymns written by His Holiness Pope Tymn "Ol' Boy Floats" Bowen, aka, me. I used to use the spelling "Tymn" for the spelling of my name. To be honest, the idea came from an ex-girlfriend, but I've stuck with it off and on for a long time. Ever since I started using that spelling, I've wanted to write a book of hymns, since the spelling comes from the word "Hymn." The Tymnal is an idea I've bounced around in my head for over a decade. I was recently reminded about this spelling, and it revived my passion to complete this work once and for all. I recently also changed the spelling on my facebook profile. Are we not friends yet on facebook? Let's fix that. https://www.facebook.com/timothy.bowen1 Add me. 

So far I've already written the first Hymn, or Tymn Hymn if you will. It's called A Hymn For "Bob."

I plan on writing many more songs of praise to all of my favorite deities, from Eris Discordia, to Nyarlathotep, to Pinkie Pie. 
Check it out. Follow it. Let me know what you think. Also, let me know what deities you think I should write songs of praise to!

The Hipster Oath

I shall only ever enjoy Approved Entertainment.
I shall treat those who do not enjoy Approved Entertainment with scorn.
I shall mock those who have not heard of any Approved Entertainment.
I shall wear a uniform that displays my Approved Entertainment choices.
I shall try to associate with only those who share my Approved Entertainment choices.
All entertainment that is not Approved Entertainment shall be regarded as "Garbage."
All people who enjoy "Garbage" Entertainment are my enemy.

Repeat this oath 666 times every night to avoid enlightenment. Unnecessary glasses are optional.  

What Happened?

Why are all the hippies pessimists and cynics now?
Why are the revolutionaries all paranoid?
When did deactivating your facebook account become so trendy?
Why is it that shrugging off one of the greatest achievements of our society is so hip?
Don't we realize that this new connectivity is a blessing?

Why are the secular people suddenly freaking out about Armageddon?
This digital age was born out of great optimism. These problems we face are not un-solvable.
There will NOT be a "zombie Apocalypse." We are not "killing the earth," and have no reason to act so god damn ashamed of who we are.

Why are the youth telling me how the "old ways" were better?
What is so wrong with the lives we're currently living?
What is so scary about the world we're approaching?

Pessimism does not equate to "realism." It is not more "realistic" to assume the worst.
Pessimism is a mental deficiency.
The human brain is the greatest problem solver ever created, and if you can't figure out solutions to the problems you're facing, then you are squandering one of the greatest gifts that you have ever been given.
The solution is NOT to just give up, deactivate your facebook, and start telling everyone how "the world will end."
That only makes you part of the problem.
That only makes your life worse.
You are only hurting yourself.
STOP IT.

Want to know what is real? Out of millions of potential sperm, you were the ONE who made it.
You, from the time of conception, have a history of victory. Do not throw that away in a vain attempt to fit in with all these trendy cynics.

The Television is not distorting reality or making you dumber. The Television is an appliance. It is a tool. It can be used however you decide to use it. Did you ever think that not only can you set the programming, but that you can create the programming?

Rage Eternal

graphic by Joseph Faison

On Wed, May 2, 2012, one of my closest friends and musical collaborators, Ryan Malott, also known as Mr. Rage, passed away. I'm still shaken by the news. He was one of the most unique, funny, and talented people I'd ever met. I'm gonna miss the son of a bitch like nothing else.

Here's some of my favorite music videos by Mr. Rage. Enjoy them, and try to remember how fragile we all are, and hopefully have a good day after viewing them.

AXE IN MUH LAP

   

 I Think Im (DUH WINNING) 

   

 UR MAD

     

 I C U FUCKBOYS

    

 WHITE FLESH BLACK MARKET [EXTENDED VERSION]

 

RIP Master Cylinder

Oh poor beard. You were good to me. You brought me laughter and itching and something to fidget with.
But you had to run your stupid whore mouth, and I had to take you to the thunderdome.
I hope you rest well in my front lawn. I hope some birds make a nest out of you or some shit.
Here's a little tribute to you.
You were a good beard, but I regret nothing. It was your time to go.

Untitled Future Poem #3

Her dress reads!

The shocking cave gifts comfort above all choices.

An owner horns the vocabulary.
Opposite his anarchy fusses comfort.
It really is all dancing flowers and her dress.

Comfort accommodates control
hypocritical concern

Are we better off for all of this civilization?
Will all these robots make us sterile?

The salesman retracts control.
The delicious effect condones more comfort.
Comfort imports the whatever-historian across an uncommon beach.

How will the helicopter mutter past the untidy postscript?

Any literate process cooperates across the egg.

Time fluctuation persists.  

Untitled Future Poem #2

The future entitles Strange Customs throughout the bogus sand.
Strange trifles are the bugs agony.
A stereo star slashes the future.
The spotted stress rates Strange into the giant royal.

In the future she lurks opposite any honest mate.

The undesirable biography prosecutes. 

The duff monkey raves under a defeated soldier. 

Why can't this retaining accountant see the dry strange customs? 

Strange customs jacks a cry from my eye. 

Strange customs camps opposite the guiding male. 

The future disappears across strange customs.

A Lunatic Pope Dot Com now accepting Bitcoin Donations

If you like any of the free books or music I offer, or any of my youtube series, and are tech savvy enough to have some bitcoin you'd like to donate to me, you now can by sending donations to

1GC5KbbP6VBh5ntUyzvB8a5UumRv8d72bY

Being Told That I Have Gone Too Far

I suppose it's a good sign, in my line of work, to be told that I've gone too far
It is true that one day I simply decided to become this "Lunatic Pope"
I suppose a poetic interpretation could be that this life chose me
Perhaps the universe woke up one day, and decided that it needed
a 30 something, neck-bearded chubby man to decide that he could worship Discord
and then decide randomly that other things can be gods
like Korean pop stars, and cartoons about ponies, and Ladies who are Gaga
Because, PUnctuation BE dAMned, all "gods" only exist in our heads
our funny, pretty, silly little heads

I like to think it doesn't matter what anyone thinks of my existence.
My thoughts on the subject seem to vary from day to day

I have stopped caring "What a Poem Is"
I've decided that everything I do is poetry. And I'm only writing for my own amusement
I guess it's cool if someone else likes it

I don't feel the need to be an Idealist anymore
I don't want to be "Principled"
Sometimes my inner dialog has a British accent and I really can't explain why

All joking aside, I rather enjoy this Lunatic Pope fellow.

April Fools Jokes are Fun, Huh?

HAIL ERIS
HAIL DISCORDIA
PRAISE "BOB"

lol

jesus
hahahahhaa